/int/ - International

She did benor in baginor

went out a while back and saw a mother with her husband and their kid and she was attractive and it made me think that her life was so distant from mine that the one moment we shared briefly inside the train will be the only time I'll ever get to see her in my entire life and she went back to her perfect family life that I will never achieve no matter how hard I try. I was happy for her, I felt attracted towards her, we left and I felt empty afterwards. Just as many other things in Bernd's life, these situations are transient and it's part of the main reason why they affect me as much as they do. I think that this thought is a beautiful thought, to have a family, to have a good relation, to have a child, creating a family that is loving and caring. It feels like these things are too good for me. I not only can't ever achieve the same, but it sometimes feels like I don't deserve it. In that previous situation I mentioned, it just struck me like lightning that I had absolutely no place, zero, in the life of someone similar to that. And it's a good thing too, because I am depraved in so many ways and just overall damaged and not good enough for anyone even remotely close to what she was. But it was not just what she was, it was what she stood for, what she represented, a good mother, a loving person, caring, responsible, a complete human being filled with experiences and a healthy circle of people around her. I'll never have any of it and it makes me feel feels. Didn't mean to shit up your thread, but I think it is relevant.

>>8304 I can still not imagine that. I don’t know why. The thought of her having sex with her boyfriend (I know them both) is completely alien to me. That people you personally know and talk to in real life have sex at night…

>>8305 The path to inner peace is making your dealings. Accepting the way of the world and your life, stop fighting against something you can’t control.

>>8305 >she went back to her perfect family life She'd be the first person with a perfect family life. No one's life is perfect, but the problems are often not visible to random Bernds on the train. >But it was not just what she was, it was what she stood for, what she represented, a good mother, a loving person, caring, responsible, a complete human being filled with experiences and a healthy circle of people around her. I'll never have any of it and it makes me feel feels. So, you know that she isn't those things, yet you feel anyway? How? Why? Who knows, maybe she feels stressed, insecure about making mistakes with the child, too tired to apply for a new job after her maternity leave, unhappy with her relationship because the two of them don't have any time together anymore. Maybe I'm as much a cynic as you are a romantic, but maybe we simply shouldn't create too many fanfics about people we see on trains.

>>8308 I'm not fighting against anything anymore, I still long for it sometimes when similar things happen to me, though. I can only imagine what must have been going through her mind during the ordeal, she must have thought that I was stupid or something. As a joke. Like maybe she thought that I had some type of intention towards taking her away from her life, or something similar to that. She must have thought that I was sad and pathetic. I felt guilty. Even if I had the opportunity, which I wouldn't have if I died a hundred times and came back to life as different people each time, I still wouldn't think it right nor would I act on any type of impulse I might have had. Bernd, I might as well have been lying, because the attraction and the implication of this attraction that I had towards her and the implied course of action that normally would have been taken in such situations were so unrealistic that this entire feel could as well have been fictional. That's how much our lives differ. I might as well be describing an alien encounter, it would probably have had more truth to it than what I'm describing.

>>8310 I don't know why it happens to me but sometimes some women just make an impression on me that I can't control. Specific looking women especially. It's out of my control, Bernd.

>>8311 Longing is fighting against destiny. You have to curb the longing.

>>8313 It's just intriguing to me some of these things sometimes and I can't keep myself from thinking about it. Even if I had been some type of person perfect for her, exactly her type, she even still wouldn't even as much as consider anything extra-marital because she is pure. Let alone with someone that has lived the life I have, even looks aside, that alone is enough for her to reject me. And to top it all off, I'm not the best looking guy on earth. It would be impossible on three planes of existence. And that's exactly why I find it something that moves me deeply. It's not even within the realm of possibility for someone like me. And not just me, but for everyone else along with me. I want it for that reason. Because it's impossible. And because she'd reject me even if I had a million chances with her. To put it simply: I want not only what I can't have, but I want the most impossible things on earth, that if I could have, then it probably wouldn't have mattered to me as much. That is not to say that I still wouldn't want to be with her even if it was possible, I would, but the fact that she is so far away from my life and reality just amplifies the feeling. It's a doggy dog world, Bernd.

link her this PSA

>>8304 Could be immaculate conception, or she could have turned her own DNA into sperm and impregnated herself.

>>8312 >Specific looking women especially. Describe the look.

Unfortunately I live in a young family hotspot, bawling and crying brats every time I go grab groceries etc and I'm sure glad I don't have to put up with that shit. I only get feels when I see young (college aged), single women.

>>8336 She was blonde, blue eyes and a face I can only describe as being somewhat above average. Her face was not exactly the typical face you'd see on such women that come from northern Europe, but that is not to say that she was ugly. Her face was pretty and the proportions were just right, an aquiline nose, not too prominent nose bridge, but still pretty. What you'd expect from women that originate in this part of the world would be a distinct almost aerodynamic-like face, sharp attributes that she didn't really have. Her face was a bit more round than what you'd expect, but she had beautiful features nonetheless. She looked good in sort of a pleasant way that wasn't too abrasive, she had soft features that complimented her hair and eye color well.

>>8323 >an anglo making fun of anyone's spelling